Sunday, November 5, 2017

Im Taking The Long Way

Hey guys! It has been three weeks since I last posted.  I actually did write one blog, but did not have the courage to post it.  The other two weeks just kind of passed by so fast for me.  My day to day life is much different now, than it was a month ago.  I began a new job.  I have spent the past 3 weeks getting used to this new change.  I also have been trying to find a new balance to it all.  I am so grateful for this new opportunity in my life.  I know that with everything I do there is always something new to learn as well room to grow.

I used to worry that I was not where I should be in life.  Like I do not have the career I should have at this point, or I have yet to begin the process of buying my own home.   These are not my expectations.  These are the expectations of what this World tells me that I "should" have.  This is what others tell me I should have.  I am not even sure myself if I want those things.  I have no idea where I would want to buy a house, even if I were ready to make that large purchase.  I attended college where I constantly changed my major.   I am just not ready to commit to doing the same job for the rest of my life, at least not at this point.

So why should I let others make me feel like I am missing out.  Well the answer is I shouldn't.  I am happy with where I am in my life and what I am doing day to day.  So... that other stuff really doesn't matter to me.  Its like I am on this adventure.  I'm not sure where I am going yet.  I just know I am headed somewhere.  I know that each day I want to push myself to be better than I was before.  I am doing what I want, not what is expected.  Everyone is different and that is okay.  We don't need to push each other down about what we have or don't have.  I have what I need, and the way I see it that is a lot more than what some have.  So I am grateful.

 I am excited about this stage of my life.  I want to soak up each moment of it.  Each day is a new experience.  Everyday is a chance for growth.  Its okay that I am not sure what I want out of life.  Right now I am just doing the things that I want to do.  Figuring out who I am, and the things that I like.  Helping others in my own kind of creative way.  Being there for my son, and watching him learn and grow.  I dont need that other stuff.  I'm not any better or less with or without it. 



Maybe its not just me... maybe there are others who feel like they are falling behind.  Life is not a race.  I will get where I need to be, when I am ready to be there.  Life is about more than a career or a home or whatever it may be that you feel you are missing out on.   I know I can use each day for growth.  I can try something new.  I can take the time to look at my child while he is still little.  I can make a memory that I dont even know will be a memory yet.  I can use my days, instead of wishing them away.  That is what is important for me.  That is how I want to be living.  I wanna make the most of each and everyday.  Its a journey, and none of us walk the same path.  ... and there's not a thing wrong with that.

I am not lost.  I just took the long way to enjoy the scenery.


Love always,

TSandra

Sunday, October 8, 2017

7 Reasons Why I love shopping at ALDI (and you should too)

 Hey Everyone! I have been shopping at ALDI for about two years now.  A friend of mine recommended it after I mentioned to her that I was on a very tight budget.  I have been hooked every since then.  Here are 7 reasons I love to do my grocery shopping at ALDI.

Photo Credit:  Britney Garner


#1 Everything always seems to be in stock

Haven't we all been in the store needing that one particular item, only to discover ITS OUT OF STOCK!  In my two years, they have never been out of stock of anything!  Even at that dreaded first of the month rush.  Somehow ALDI manages to keep those shelves stocked as if it were MAGIC. 

#2  Small and Manageable

It is so nice to pull into a small parking lot where I don't have to hike for a mile, to get to the store. YALL KNOW WHAT I MEAN?  The parking lot at ALDI is always clean.  There are no shopping carts abandoned or litter on the ground.  There is always a place to park.  Not only is the parking lot small and convenient as is the store itself.  Inside ALDI it is a small yet spacious grocery store.  you will find that the shelf's are neat and stocked.  The isles are wide enough for two carts at once!  I can navigate very easily through the store.  Its wonderful!


#3 Eco-Friendly

Aldi is doing great things for the environment.  At this store, you bring your own reusable bags.  This keeps those thin little plastic ones out of our landfills.  You can purchase reusable bags right in the store or if you prefer you can purchase paper bags that are recyclable.  These bags are hefty and can be used for a long time.  ALDI also allows its customers to use their stock boxes for FREE!  

#4 Organic foods that are affordable

Have you ever said..."Its too expensive to eat organic."  Well not anymore.  ALDI offers a wide variety of organic food and snacks, and no they wont break the bank.  My favorite is their sweet potato chips. Yum!

#5 Everyone is so nice

ALDI has made a wonderful atmosphere to shop in.  Everyone is so pleasant when I go to ALDI.  Not just the staff, but the customers as well.  I think since people have a nice experience when they come into the store, they can not help but to be sweet to all those they encounter.

#6 Ease of Checkout

When shopping at ALDI  the checkout process is always fast and easy.  The cashiers are seated, which helps them to scan at super speed! The products are then put into a cart and you bag them yourself.  Every Lane is the FAST LANE!
 


#7 You save money

 ALDI  has been creative about saving you money.  There is no need for cart pushers at ALDI.  All of the carts always stay neatly stacked by the outside door.  This is because in order to use a cart you put in a quarter into the cart, and when you return the cart you get your quarter back.  Its so simple!  It saves the company money.   Therefore they can pass the savings on to you!  That is not the only way you save money there.   The food is a great value and taste great too.  Cost are also cut by not buying bags or paying people to bag.  Using these creative business strategies ALDI has been able to create a profitable business while maintaining low prices for their customers.  Thank you ALDI!




Sunday, October 1, 2017

A Glimpse Into an Anxious Mind





Hello to my readers!

I have struggled with an anxiety disorder since I was a child.  At the time I did not know that anyone else ever felt the way I did.  In fact I had no idea it was even a medical condition.  All I knew is that I worried all the time.  People around me called me a worrier.  Finally, as a teenager I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.  I was relieved to finally have a name for my condition, and I wasn't alone.

When we talk about "anxiety"  this is a general term.  Everyone has some anxiety.  It is a natural response in our minds to create an urgency that helps us complete a task.  There is an array of anxiety disorders ranging from mild to severe.  Some experience unwelcome thoughts of events that are unlikely.  For instance, I have an overwhelming fear that a stray bullet will come through my window when I am in bed.  While this is possible it is extremely unlikely to happen.  I have to take the time to tell myself, " that fear is irrational. "   As a child I could not sleep at night.  I remember once I stayed up all night because I thought my home would catch on fire.  When "anxiety" interferes with your day to day living then its possible that you may have a "disorder"

I live with negative thoughts everyday.  I play them over and over in my mind even though its painful.   I have scary thoughts about what might happen to my child at school that day.  The anxiety in my head screams at me to not send him.  For me I just have to pray.  I ask God to watch over him.  I tell myself that I have prepared my son for this and I have to allow him to grow and to learn.  My mind will try to justify homeschooling him, but I know that is not best for my son, considering his personality and social needs.  That is the anxious part of  myself talking.  Its never easy.  I can go into a full panic just over an imaginary scenario my brain has created.  Its exhausting worrying about everything.... plus things that aren't even real.

I do not know why I am this way.  I have spent an extensive amount of time researching on the internet, reading books, and talking with others who have a similar situations.  I mean of course I have.... that is my super power right?  Stressing about literally EVERYTHING!  It is important to be educated about your condition, but to be obsessed, that only aggravates the condition.

Something I find helpful for me is to not worry about things I cannot control, and really that's everything.  Once I give up the feeling of wanting to control a situation I free myself.  I used to worry that one day gravity would cease to exist...........  Now, I know that this is not a logical thought, still though I used to be concerned about this.  Do I have the power to stop this occurrence, if it were to take place? NO!  If another country sends missiles to destroy our country can I stop it? NO! Therefore, I do not concern myself with these types of things.  Honestly, I unfollowed the news Facebook pages because it created such fret for me.  I have to do what is best for me to manage my anxiety.

Everyone experiences anxiety differently I think we have to allot a time in which we educate ourselves about our condition.  Then seek out whatever works for you.  There are many sources of management available.  Personally, I write in a journal, make art, take baths, and vent to friends.  Check out my recent blog on 15 Coping Strategies for Anxiety and Depression if you are interested in learning about other ways to manage you anxiety.

If its you out there and your have consuming thoughts that are controlling your life.  You are not alone.  There is help out there.  It is a good idea to talk about this with your doctor, or a therapist.  There is medication available to treat your condition, or if you prefer a non-medication route there are resources out there available to you as well.

I can understand if my readers feel that this has been rambling.  Let me explain it this way.  If you do not suffer with an anxiety disorder  I know this is hard to follow.  That is why I titled this "A glimpse Into an Anxious Mind"  This is a very small description of what people like me endure on a daily basis.  This is me and this is my struggle.










Sunday, September 24, 2017

How to Declutter Your Childrens Toys and Keep Them That Way





Hey Ya'll!  Lets talk about TOYS!

Kids today are over run with toys. Its spilling out of their rooms and into the rest of the house.  It used to be an everyday battle for me.  Toys! Taking over the house.  Toys in floor, in the kitchen, the bathtub, and even in my bed.   The car, the yard, they are everywhere!  When I would go into my sons room, I would just turn away because it felt hopeless!  There are birthdays, Christmases, and just trips to the store that contribute to this madness.  Kids have more today than they know what to do with. I tried what I think we all have and that is organizing.  I went out and purchased some colorful and fun bins that was sure to solve all my problems right?  No!  It did not work! I found that I would spend an entire day placing toys in their bins.  I even went as far as labeling the bins with pictures (since my son could not read yet) This was pointless!  By the end of the day the toys were all throughout the house and dumped from their bins.  My son became overwhelmed, as did I when it was time to clean up.  This was time consuming.  A young child simply does not have the attention span to sort toys for 30+ minutes.   I felt stuck in this never ending toy cycle.  It was time for a new approach.

The first thing I did was observe my son to see which toys he played with the most.  I found that he spent more time dumping them out than he did actually playing with them.  This is when I made the choice to do some eliminating myself.  I put my little one to sleep in my bed that night, so that I could work in his room. It took several hours, and afterwards I could see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I realized why I let my child's room get out of control in the first place.  I grew up with hand me downs, and very few "new" toys.  I feel this is why I bought  my son any toy he wanted.   I could see that this approach was a mistake.  I wanted my son to have everything I did not.  My heart was in the right place, but it was not the best thing for him.  Suddenly I was faced with three mountains:  regret, spent money, and toys!   I felt more attached to his toys than he did, because he never played with them.  He did not take good care of his toys.  He did not appreciate what he had.  I was feeling a little bit of guilt and shame.  I had to do better by him.

My son has a double closet and it was packed full!  He had two TVs! No one needs two TVs in their room, he's not working for NASA!  We kept one, and donated the other.  He had two foam couches that he had outgrown and I let both of those go.  I found puzzles, play-dough, books, and much more. We kept some of the books, but the other stuff he was not interested in.  I still had four bins of his infant clothes and  I chose to give them away.  I knew of someone in need and I did not foresee an infant in my future.  This was the first clean out!  We have since had several more.



 I wanted to involved my son in the process.  I wanted him to understand why we were doing this.  That he was not being punished.  As an example, I told him about a daycare that was in need of toys.  I explained to him that he was very fortunate that he had so many wonderful things.  We went through each and every toy together.  We created piles to keep, give away, and broken.  This is a personal choice.  All children are different.  You may find it best to make this a shared experience between your child and yourself.  It just depends on your preference.  This part is not always easy.  When working with your child take breaks to play with them as you all are eliminating.  Find a way to make it a game, and allow them to be involved when its time to drop off.  If you find that your child cannot part with any of his/her toys try talking to them about why you are doing this, and why its necessary.  These are lessons that they will take into adulthood.  Sometimes it may be necessary that you make all the decisions on which to keep and donate.  This helps teach your child that if they cannot make the choice, then the choice will be made for them.

It is okay if you still end up having quite a few toys.  Here is what you can do about it.   Create a toy rotation box.  I suggest a 32 gallon plastic tote.  Put toys inside that you will rotate out about every Two to Three months. Once you have de-cluttered your child's toys/stuff.  It is now time to create a storage arrangement for the toys when not in use.  We decided that all of the toys would go into the toy box.  You may like to try a shelf with just a few colorful bins.  Just experiment and find out what works best for your child and you. It is a good idea to stay ahead of the toy madness.  In our home we have implemented a rule.  Its called the ONE IN AND ONE OUT rule.  This rule is simple.  If a new toy comes in the door, then another one goes out.  I would suggest creating a donate box or bag and keeping it in a closet. 






Since the downsize of my sons room it has become so much more manageable for my son and myself.   Like I have mentioned before no child is alike.  You will have to use trial and error to find which method suits your child best.  My son appreciates and actually plays with his toys now.  This is what made me come to the conclusion that when children have less to play with, it actually makes them more creative.  They have to use their imagination to find something that will work in their play scenario.  It also makes things more interesting for them so they will stay engaged in their play much longer.  Remember that once you have things straightened out, stick to your rules to keep it that way.  Above all use times like these to teach your child life lessons that will aid them into adulthood.

Sunday, September 17, 2017

Say Yes to Yourself!

Hey guys! As you probably know I have missed the last two weeks of doing my blog post.  Now to some maybe you would say I have failed my goal, but I say no.  I recognized that I got off track and now here I am to fulfill this obligation to myself.  We only fail when we stop trying.  Making mistakes is part of the learning process you have not failed you have learned something new.

I am still on my my journey of self discovery.  In the past few weeks I have managed to accomplish some things I did not believe I was capable of doing.  I pushed myself to say "I can".  I believe we all can do more, if we just try.  Stop listening to that voice in your head that says " I can't, I am not capable, I don't have the skills..."  Whatever it is that you say to yourself that discourages you, stop those thoughts!  Instead tell yourself  "I can'' or at least "I can try".  Believe in yourself!  Ignore others who tell you that its only a dream.  Its not just a "dream"  Its your dream!   Most of the time, its not even other people who talk us out of what we really want to be doing.  Its ourselves.  We are our own worst enemy. 

Last week my dryer went out.  I was annoyed and upset.  It always feels like its something right.  "You know you cannot afford a new dryer"  Those negative thoughts started to creep in and I told them. Stop!  I took to the internet to try to figure out what was wrong and if I could fix it.  As I read articles, and watched videos a voice inside said, you know nothing about dryers.  You cant do this.  You wont follow through. You don't have the tools to do this.  You will fail!  I scream to myself "SHUT UP!''  I drowned out the inner voice and say.  I can do this.  I will try my best.  I am capable.  I will find a way.  I will learn.  I told myself these things, and the voice inside started to believe.  I can and I will fix this dryer.  I didn't do it on my own.  I told my husband I was determined and we would work through it together.  I learned about it and instructed him on each step toward fixing it.  We didn't have all the right tools.  I asked a neighbor to borrow them.  Then, we hit another road block. Now we needed a part and it just so happens a man here in town had just what we needed.  We put it all back together, and it worked.  We reached out to others to help us with what we were missing and it all came together.



I know this is just a story about a dryer but it is the little things like these that can teach you so much.  I had no idea how to fix a dryer.  Instead of throwing it out and buying a new one,  I learned about my dryer.  One day I may use that knowledge again.  It gave me a boost in my self confidence for sure.  I believed I could do more!  So... the next day I was off to build a bench.   It seemed so easy in my mind.  It was NOT easy.  I found that I didn't know what tools to use or how to operate them.  I call this a learning "experience".  I now know that our household needs tools.  I also discovered that I am interested in learning to build.  I gathered all of this, because I made a tiny choice to try to fix my dryer.

What if I had listened to that voice inside myself?  I would still have a broken dryer or I would be $400 in debt.  Instead I told that voice to hush it and figured it out.  It feels good to step out of my comfort zone and do things I am scared to do.  I manage a Facebook page and sometimes I make videos.  The first time I ever did that I was terrified.  I almost talked myself out of it.  Now I am so glad I did it.  It has been an awesome experience!  I am overcoming my stage fright fear.  I am being myself, unedited.  I get to share with others about my new journey and how it has helped to improve my life.

I am changing for the better because of small choices I make each day.  Its all about baby steps to get you to where you are going.  It is about saying yes! when your inner voice is screaming NO!  Ignore negative advice and spend your time with people who believe in you. Get off your phone. Stop watching TV.  Use that time to explore what it is that matters to you!  You ARE good enough. You CAN achieve your goals!


Sunday, August 27, 2017

One simple tool that can help improve your life

Hello everyone! I want to say hi to all my new comers and thanks to those that have been following my blog.  This week I was inspired by my friend Kayla.  She recently started a bullet journal.  A bullet journal is kind of like a planner, but its so much more than that.  She told me about it a month or so ago.  I kinda checked into a little, but then put it in the back of my mind.  Well, a few days ago she showed me her bullet journal.  It is amazing!  I loved it as soon as I saw it.  It gained my interest once more, and I have spent the last week in a practice one.  A practice notebook is just something I did, this is not a required step.  Today, I found a notebook that I think will be just prefect for me and I cant wait to get started over this next week.

Photo credit: Kayla


 Now, let me just give you some basis on what a bullet journal is.  All you need to get started is a blank notebook (lined or unlined) whatever your preference is, a pen, a ruler is helpful.  Like I said before it is alot like a planner.  Speaking of which have you ever bought a planner only to realize that the format its setup in is actually not helpful to you?  I have!  And if your like me this is the answer to your troubles.  In a bullet journal you create a unique format just for your needs.  It can be as simple or as detailed as you like.  I like to use mine as a hobby and  for stress relief.  I enjoy creating drawings and more details in it.  If you prefer just words that's okay too.  This can still work for you! Check this video out and learn how to get started here.

 You can use a bullet journal to catalog anything that you need to keep track of.  Naturally, you are going to want to have a page that includes a calendar. It is suggested that you have a page or two for all months (year at glance)  Then, a monthly, and also weekly pages.  These will help you keep track of birthdays, appointments, and other events you will need to remember.  You will draw your own format to organize that information, this is why a ruler can be helpful.

Year at glance



Weekly


Currently I have lists everywhere.  There are lists on the fridge, on a clipboard that hangs on my wall.  A huge calendar, that I try to use to plan, it kinda works, but is not very efficient. I also keep important reminders in my phone (also still doesn't really help me)  and random papers scattered.  Its very disorganized, and I need a way to combine all these things.  It will help me be more organized with everything that is going on in my life.  I am very excited about this bullet journal.

Health page

Books read page

Expense tracker


In addition to a calendar, there are more things going on in our life that we need to keep up with.  This is where it gets so beautiful!  Since its not just a planner and you create the entire format you are able to add whatever you like.  There are no limitations.  In my practice journal I have made a page to log my blood pressure readings.  This is something I have been meaning to keep up with for a while, but never really had a good system to.  Now, I have hope that I will be able to keep track much better.  My friend Kayla, who I mentioned earlier keeps track of her sons type 1 diabetes.  She said to me that it has made her life much easier.  Also, I made a short term goal page as well as a long term goal page. I think that writing down my goals will help me to achieve them.  I will make a Vision board in my journal as well.  That is just a gathering of words and pictures that inspire you to become the person you want to be, and to keep you motivated so that you keep moving forward.
As you can see the possibilities are endless for this one.  Your bullet journal can be whatever you need it to be, and the best thing about it is there is NO RULES. You cant do it wrong!  Ill be getting started this week on mine. I will be posting my progress on my new Instagram page dedicated to my blog TSandraTalks.

Photo credit:  Tiffany Treece  "vision board"





Sunday, August 20, 2017

15 coping strategies for anxiety and depression

#1  Yoga/Exercise
Photo credit-Kara Saliba   Click here to follow Kara on Instagram

Yoga can help to relieve tension and reduce stress. Here is a Beginner video  to get you started.  If yoga isn't your cup of tea, why not try a daily exercise routine. 




 

 

   

#2 Writing

Photo Credit:  Raven Nicole click here to follow Raven on Facebook











When it comes to writing you have a variety of options to express yourself.  For one you could start a daily journal.  Writing in a journal is a lot like talking to another person, and you can say whatever you want since your the only one who will be reading it.    If a journal isn't the way to go for you, why not try Writing a little poetry, a short story or maybe even a song. 

 

 

 

#3  Listening to music

 Listening to your favorite type of music can help to boost your mood.  In fact the journal of positive psychology found that after two weeks of listening to upbeat music the participates reported feeling happier.

Photo Credit:  Shane Horton

 

#4  Reach out to a close friend or family member

 Talk to those you are closest with and let them know how you have been feeling.  They may be able to help in some way, even if that means just listening.

Photo credit: Alicia Gurley

 

#5  Chat with a complete stranger

Photo Credit:  https://www.7cups.com
Some may find it easier to talk to a non bias party about how you are feeling.   This is a website where you can connect with a trained listener for free.  If you feel that you need professional help you can also chat with a licensed therapist for a small fee.  https://www.7cups.com


 

 

#6  Go outside

As hard as it may be to get outside when your feeling anxious or depressed doing so has great benefits for your mental health. 

Photo credit:  Ariel Vertrea









 

 

#7  Deep breathing

You can take deep breaths when you are feeling overwhelmed.  Take special note to concentrate only on your breathing. 

Photo Credit:  Kayla Gottfried

#8  Get creative

 You could paint, maybe draw.  Get a coloring book.  Build something, Decorate, or cook something you never have before.  There is an endless list of possibilities for this one.  Whatever being creative means to you, try it and it is sure to lift your spirits.

Photo credit:  Tabitha Ferree

 

 #9  Go for a walk

 Going outside for a walk is beneficial in so many ways.  You will be getting exercise which releases feel good hormones in your brain.  Your serotonin and vitamin D levels will rise, helping to fight off depression.  

Photo Credit:  Tiffany Treece

#10   Take a bath

Did you know soaking in the tub or even taking a hot shower for 20 minutes can lower your blood pressure helping you to feel less stressed.


Photo credit:  Natalie Shuburte

 

#11  Do something nice for someone else

Photo credit:  Megan Crosby
Yes, you read that right.  Helping others with their problems helps us to work through our own.   It can be as simple as doing the dishes for someone or anything you find helpful.  We all have some way to give to another person.



 

 

 

 

#12  Prayer, Meditation and Mindfulness

Photo credit:  Raven Nicole and Everlee
Through prayer, meditation, and mindfulness we can gain perception into our lives.  Take the time to just reflect on yourself and the world around you.  Doing so can help to bring you peace.

 

#13  Escape... for a little while

We all need an escape from our own reality sometimes.  If you are able to, go on a mini vacation, or to visit some friends and relatives.  If that's not an option for you try reading a book or watching your favorite TV show.

Photo credit:  Tiffany Treece


#14 Get up and Get ready

Whenever I'm feeling down, I find that just getting up and getting ready for the day (even if I have nothing to do)  helps me to be more happy and less stressed.  Guys this goes for yall too!

Photo credit:  Carrie Schoolfield


#15 Explore something new

Its always fun to try something you haven't before.  I'm not saying you have to travel across the country.  There are possibilities all around you.  Whether it be visiting a new restaurant or taking up a new hobby.  The World is yours baby!  Go get it!

Photo credit:  Bethany  Beggs
Never hesitate to reach out to your doctor or a mental health specialist if you are experiencing prolonged periods of depression or anxiety. 

Sources:
  http://www.healthline.com/health-news/mental-listening-to-music-lifts-or-reinforces-mood-051713#6
http://www.healthline.com/health/depression/benefits-sunlight

 

Monday, August 14, 2017

What its Like to be Food Insecure and How You Can Help




Food insecurity is a much larger problem than one may believe.  It is very likely that you have friends and/or family who are food insecure.  This means that their food source will run out before they have the money to replenish it.  This is an issue that hits home for me, because I have been food insecure for a large part of my life.  Being in this situation can cause a person and their children extreme mental anguish, largely affecting a person's overall well being.  The good news is that there is a solution.

Every day in America 1 in 6 people are classified as being food insecure.  www.dosomething.org     Food is a basic necessity for life and someone you know is fighting this battle daily. No one should ever have to make the choice between food in their children's bellies and keeping a roof over their head, yet everyday this is the reality for many people.  Growing up, there was not an abundance of food in my home.  My siblings and I used to all dream about carts full of groceries at the store only to wake up and find that it was all a dream.   Each one of us have recalled different details of our dreams.  I can recall a vivid dream I had as a child.  My sister, brother, and I were all in the store.  We had juice drinks, fresh fruit, toaster pasties, cookies, candy, and all those goodies you want as a child.  I can remember how happy I was in my dream, and how sad I was upon waking.


My mother always worked.  In fact, most of the time, she had more than one job.  She wasn't home until late most nights due to her work schedule.   At the time, it was my older sister, my little brother and me.  Our mother would, of course, buy groceries but sometimes our food supply just got extremely low before she would be able to buy more.  Don't get me wrong, we never went hungry but it wasn't always a very balanced diet.  Before time to shop again we would eat beans and noodles for a few nights.  I can only imagine the amount of stress and worry that woman carried on her shoulders each and every day.  I honestly cannot understand how she even got herself out of bed in the morning.  She was doing everything she could to make ends meet, and yet it was still a daily struggle.

When I think back to mealtimes when we were young, I distinctly remember how our mother never ate until we were all full and finished. She did this because she wanted to make sure there was enough for us.  When we asked her why she wasn't eating she would tell us she wasn't hungry.  When we got older and realized what she was doing, we were more considerate and encouraged her to sit and eat with us.  I'll never forget when I was about 6 years old.  We had hamburgers for dinner.  For some reason I was being very difficult that day.  I picked up my hamburger and tossed it.  It rolled off the table and into the floor and was ruined.  I remember my mom telling me that's all we had to eat.  I cried after realizing I was hungry and had ruined my food.  She made me promise to be grateful from that point on and then she gave me hers.


My big sister learning to make dumplings

 There were many nights of biscuits and gravy for supper and and canned green beans for an after school snack.  My sister used to make us goulosh a lot. (You can find the recipe at the end of this post.)  We even had surprise can night.  This consists of can foods that no longer have a label on them.  They used to sell them in grocery stores for super cheap!  My mother would buy these and we would all pick a can for dinner.  I can remember hoping for something really good, and usually it ended up being beets.  And leftovers were absolutely not wasted!  When there were leftovers in the fridge it was an excuse to spend quality time together and get creative!  We did at times wonder if we would have something to eat.  Mother always managed to come up with something for us even if  all we had was flour and water.  We were all taught a very powerful message. You can do a lot with very little.

My little brother, big sister, and me


 A lot of good came out of us being poor and having limited food supply.  My mom taught us that we have a lot more than some people and it's true we did.  Somewhere out there we had more than someone else.  We were taught to be grateful for what we had.  We ate what was put in front of us without much complaint.  We were still ungrateful and frustrated at times, like kids will be.  But we learned to appreciate and be thankful in time.  Now as adults even more so because sometimes we will find ourselves in a similar situation.  Because of our mom we have the skills and resources to rectify the situation.  As children we knew our circumstances were different than other families but I don't remember ever being jealous or angry.   Mostly we were grateful for what we had.  I learned a lot of very important lessons growing up that I have carried with me all my life.  Since I didn't have very much as a child, it taught me to be resourceful and waste as little as possible.  I learned to be thoughtful and cooperative at a very young age.  Most importantly I learned to give.  I witnessed family, friends, and neighbors give to us.  I am grateful for all those who took notice of our situation and did what they could to help.  Their generosity and kindness is still valued today.

 People tend to hide that they are struggling.  They may feel shame or embarrassment.  I know I did.  A person can become depressed when food is not available to them.  As a child, I struggled to be able to focus in school because I was always worried about my home life.  Most people are not going to ask for help.  It is humiliating to have to tell someone that you don't know what you will be having for your next meal.  Not having food is enough to make you want to stop living.  If you have ever been there, you know what I am talking about.  For those of you experiencing food insecurity, I urge you to reach out for help.  Let others know what you are going through.  Do not be ashamed to visit your local food bank, or other food assistance programs.  That is why these programs exist.  Your lack of food is a temporary circumstance and getting the help you need now will help aid you to become more independent in the future.  Everyone needs help sometimes.  You are not failing.  Be proud that you are trying, and trying IS NOT failing.

I want to be part of the solution.  I may not have an excess of money, but I have skills.  I can use my knowledge and coupon strategies to help others.  I can pick up a few extra food items while I am shopping.  I know how to get products for very cheap and I can afford to grab some extras to contribute to those in need.  Just because I may not have a lot to give doesn't mean I have nothing.  We all have something to give.  Whether it be money, food, knowledge, transportation, or however you can help.  The smallest gestures can make the biggest difference. 

This has only been my story.  There are so many others out their facing much worse conditions.  Not everyone has the kind of mother I do.  Food insecurity is a major problem in every community today.   Remember that people wont always ask for help.  Don't let that stop you from offering.  Also keep in mind that if you are the one who is struggling, it is temporary, you will get through this.  Be brave!  Persevere!  Tell your story and reach out to others for support.  Everyone has something to give.  Find your own unique way that you can help.


Goulosh

Ingredients:
*1 can/jar spaghetti sauce
*1 can mixed vegetables
*1lb elbow macaroni
*1/2 ground beef (optional)

Directions: Cook pasta according to package directions.  Brown meat if using.  Drain pasta and meat.  Combine all ingredients and heat through.

Monday, August 7, 2017

My Discovery of Minimalism

On my search for happiness and purpose I have discovered Minimalism.  Minimalism is about living with what is most valuable to a person, and removing what is not.  This does not mean just physical belongings, but anything in your life that takes away from what you really want to be doing.  This can mean anything from an event you really don't care to attend,  a thought consuming your mind, or simply that ugly vase that aunt Gerdie left you.  There is not a certain number of items you must own to be considered minimal.  There are no rules. It is about recognizing your true priorities and letting go of everything else.  For me, having memories and experiences is much more valuable than "stuff".   Stuff gets in the way of me being able to make memories and go on adventures.  I am done with the things I own actually owning me.  I will no longer allow things to control my life or put a damper on it.  I want to be free, and live my life as simply as possible.  I choose to live with very few possessions. I choose to put my time and energy where It matters the most, for me. 

 I had all these items stuffed in closets, pushed under beds, and in cabinets.  It was like every door I opened something fell out.  I was miserable.  The items I owned were taking over my life.  It was like I was living to just care for the items.  It was a daily struggle just to get the house picked up.  Most days I just couldn't deal with it.  I found that I would organize, then it never stayed that way.  I wanted to be able to get out of the house and do something fun.  I never could find the time to do much.  I was very depressed.  My life felt hopeless.  It may sound silly to some, however when you are living with an anxiety disorder and depression its nothing to laugh about.  Each day was getting more and more difficult to get out of the bed.  Then, a day came where my sister called and told me to look up minimalism and so I did.  That was the day I began to change in every aspect of myself.  I watched a documentary called The Minimalists. You can check out their website here.   http://www.theminimalists.com/  This is where I started.  It was my gateway into this new lifestyle.   After watching that documentary I was hooked, and began immediately going through my belongings.  I started in the easiest place for me which was clothes. That first evening I went through my closet and removed two bags of clothes, and a few pair of shoes I never wore.  I dropped them off at a donation center and never looked back.  It empowered me to be able to let go of stuff.  Everyday I would awake and find a place to begin, maybe it was just a closet or drawer for that day, and I went through it.  It wasn't always easy to part with my belongings, but I pressed on.  My outlook was that the more stuff I got rid of, the less time I would spend cleaning. Instead I could have time to find myself. The days went on and I did a little each day.

When parting with my physical items it brought back all sorts of emotions. There were several things I took pictures of to help this process for me.  I felt like I was throwing memories away.  All these items brought back an important moment or time in my life and here I was throwing them in the trash.   So when I placed them in the trash (or donation bag) I asked myself  "do you still have the memories?"  The answer was yes!  Memories cannot be discarded.  They are logged in our mind, and if we do need that physical reminder of one of our old possessions a picture is almost just as good. It also takes up a lot less space, especially if you digitize them.

When it comes to obligations and responsibilities many of us bite off much more than we can chew.  There's the kids sports, church activities, family outings, reunions, weddings, birthday party's, etc.  The list could go on and on.  I had all kinds of stuff that was taking up my time.  The worst part though, I didn't even want to be where I was.  Then why was I wasting my time at an event or activity that I didn't care about.  I was letting others tell me what I should be doing.  The pressure of responsibilities that another person put on me, that I voluntarily accepted.  It made zero sense.  I since have eliminated all  obligations that do not add value to my life and I am a much happier person for it.

When a person is minimal that means that they have evaluated their lives and omitted whatever is not important.  Whether it be an object, obligation or any aspect of their life that needed cleaned out.   The entire point is that what is important to someone is getting the time it deserves, and everything else is forgotten.  The importance for me was that I needed to be less stressed and I needed my spare time to use for me.  Minimalism has helped me eliminate the unnecessary objects from my life.  I can now prioritize what is important to me.  I am a happier person and  I have the time I need to focus on the things that matter to me.  I have let go of material items, and now  I collect memories and experiences, not possessions.













Friday, July 28, 2017

Using Experiences to Find Happiness



In my last blog post, I mentioned that I had been spending my time doing various activities.  Now, you may be thinking I took control of my life and went skydiving, started a charity or opened my own business. Well, I haven't done any of those things yet.  Instead, I have found a more creative approach to branching out.  When it comes to resources I have available, money is not one of them.  I am challenged to begin a new hobby or lifestyle change that cost little to no money.  I focus on what I  do have the resources for.  Then, I think about what sort of things I am interested in, and which resources line up to make this possible.  Volunteering was right up my alley. It gave me a chance to give back, it was new, and it didn't cost any money.  I also took up extreme couponing, that actually felt like more of a job than a hobby.  I changed my diet and became vegan for a short while.  Each one of these brought about life changes in me.  It may not sound like much looking from the outside; however when you start to do these types of things it changes you within.



I volunteered at a local free clothing closet while my son was at preschool.  I helped to organize the closet whenever I could for several weeks.  I folded and hung clothes, and assisted shoppers in finding clothing items they were in need of.  I donated an air conditioner, several bags of clothes, and clothing rack as well. Helping others brought happiness to myself.  It gave me something to look forward to each week, and at that time I was in desperate need to have something to do that made a difference.  The closet taught me that something very small can make a huge impact in another person's life.

I became a couponer!  I needed a way to feel like I was earning money.  Since I was unable to get a job, I came up with the idea that I would save money instead.  I talked with my mother and my sister in law, who were both experienced when it came to extreme couponing.  The first rule of couponing is to buy it on sale and use a coupon. I did just that.  I began to pay attention to how much things actually cost.  I began to plan meals based on what was on sale that week.  I was more flexible on the items I would use.  The brands of products I began using broadened.  If it was on sale and I could get it for a great price, I was willing to give it a whirl!  I discovered I liked a lot of these brands that I had never tried before.  I was able to stretch my dollar.  I even made it a game.  Each time I walked in a store.  I had my list in one hand and my coupons in the other.  It was me against the register and I was in it to win it.  I took shopping seriously and still do now.  I would gaze upon the full price of ketchup and keep my basket rolling.  Besides, it was bound to be on sale next week for half that, and I have a coupon that will make it even cheaper. I felt unstoppable. Once, I even bought seventy-five boxes of hamburger helper for twelve dollars and some change.  It was unreal to me that this had existed and I never took advantage of it before.  I started a stock pile. It consisted of shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, deodorant, female hygienic products, razors, and much more. Since then, I have took up minimalism which I will discuss later in a blog post.  I no longer keep a stock pile. I have given away and used up most of what I had in my stockpile.  It was a personal choice.  I still use coupons and I continue to get products for less than they retail for; however I only get what I need and can use for the time being.  Couponing is still a big part of my life.  I use this lifestyle tool weekly.  

Another time, I decided to go vegan after watching a documentary about our food supply in America. I learned about how our food is genetically altered, and how we don't really know the long term effects that it has in our bodies.  I saw videos of how animals were treated, and came to know that animals who are raised for food have almost no rights to being treated humane.  What I saw was a disgrace, and I couldn't bear the thought of it all.  I wanted it to change, and I knew that the change started with me.  I went vegan for about a month and a half. What I knew was so little, but I read and watched videos and learned what I could about it all.  I actually lost eleven pounds going vegan and have since gained it all back.  I didn't stay vegan.  I found it difficult to learn how to prepare food differently than I was used to.  I felt sick because my body was releasing toxins from my previous diet.  My husband was not a fan at all, but he was supportive of me.  The kinds of foods I needed to eat were foreign to me.  It was also costly.  The truth about it all, I wasn't ready to implement this lifestyle change.  I will say that I do not eat near the amount of meat I once did.  I also make better choices about what goes into my body.  It was an interesting experiment for me.  My goal is to eventually become a non meat eater.  I think it is something you really have to be prepared for and next time I will be.

I may not have excelled at everything new I have brought into my life.   The entire point is that I got out of bed.  I did something that I had not done before.  I learned about something new.  It deepened my value of life.  I added to my knowledge.  I gained an experience. I went out there and did something.  I didn't become an expert on any of the subjects mentioned above.  I'm stepping out from what I have always known and it feels amazing.  I wake up ready to see another day.  I'm understanding myself that much more.  With optimism I will continue to move forward on the search for reason.

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Finding my Everyday Reason by Just Trying


Hello and welcome to my blog! My name is TSandra.  I am a wife and a mother of a 5 year old boy.  I am on an adventure of self discovery.  My hopes for this blog is to inspire others, while finding my everyday reason. For those who choose to take this journey with me, keep in mind that I'm new to the blogging community and I am excited to become a part of it.

Two years ago I quit my job to move back to my hometown.  This was something my husband desperately needed in his life and he doesn't ask for much so I agreed.  For the first few months we stayed with my grandparents while we waited for an apartment to become available.  I had been a daycare teacher for the past three years.  This allowed me to bring my child to work with me for free and I earned a paycheck.

That very first morning I woke up without a job I felt sad, useless. and the list could go on.   My husband already had his job lined up, so he was good to go.  I struggled to find routine.  I could have went out and found a job, however the type of job I would have been qualified for would have went to daycare cost.  I basically would have been filling up my day and missing time with my son for little financial gain.  Depression was creeping up fast and I seen the storm coming.

That first morning was a struggle.  I lay there and felt no reason to get up.  I could tell my mood was affecting my son.  I reached out to friends and family.  They were very supportive and ready to give their help.  They listened to me and tried to help, but my depression was still pulling me under.

Christmas was right around the corner, and that didn't help matters. I knew it was up to me to pull myself out of this rut.  I needed a plan.  I went out and bought a Christmas Tree. A big one! My sister suggested a small tree since the house was small.  I listened to her advice, and ignored it. Arriving home carrying my very large tree and various Christmas supplies, my grandparents definitely noticed.  They had several questions for me and I simply told them the truth.  I told them I was sad and trying to cheer myself up and that my son needed a tree at Christmas.  They understood and I put it up.  Everyday after that my son and I would make a paper ornament and hang it on the tree.





 One morning I woke up to find that my grandmother had made some ornaments.  She was so proud and smiling.  That is when I realized she had been sad too. That everyone in  the house had been a little blue.  I made it my mission to bring the Christmas spirit back into our family home.  I surprised them by decorating their porch with Christmas lights.  Then they surprised me with wanting to add more.  It was like a chain reaction. My small decision to keep myself busy caused something to spread, and I think it was cheer.  I was inspired. I felt like I had found the key to happiness by simply trying. 

Since that simple Christmas, I have been branching out and trying new things.  All kinds of new things!  I am 28 years old and unsure of where I want to be and what I want to do with my life. I am on a quest for happiness you could say.  I am trying to find what I am good at and what I love doing. I am searching for my purpose.  That is what this blog is about.  This is where I will document my progress.  I want to share my story along the way.  I hope to inspire others to get out of bed and try something different.  I want others to see the value of simply trying.  I have many plans for this blog some of which include, interviewing others about their life, experiences, and trials. I know this blog may not change the World, however I hope it broadens mine.